


The Good Life

by switchknitter



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Philanthropy, Pre-Slash, Unspecified Setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 07:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25347196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/switchknitter/pseuds/switchknitter
Summary: Tony decides he needs to do more good in the world.  Everybody loves it.  Including Loki?
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Comments: 7
Kudos: 110





	The Good Life

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to artsmyspark for the beta, and wolfloner for tagging help!

“Hey, JARVIS. I’ve got a project for you.” Tony was in the workshop of Stark Tower, playing with the boot of an Iron Man suit. He had an idea for making the repulsors more effective without sacrificing armor weight, but that wasn’t what was on his mind. “I need you to find me every US-based charity with a cause I’d support. Filter out the ones with scandals, discriminate based on stupid shit, and the ones who spend more than 30% on administrative costs.”

“Yes, Sir. It will take a few hours, as there are a large number of charities.”

“Of course, J. Take your time.” Tony turned his attention back to the repulsor. He could be patient, when it was important.

\---

“Sir, I have narrowed down the list of charities to 4,268.”

Tony was eating pizza. He swallowed his current bite. “Great. Give them each a million dollars. Anonymously.”

“Sir?” JARVIS sounded confused. It was sort of adorable.

“You heard me. I looked at my quarterly report. I can keep my SI stocks, my houses, and my cars, and still have a few hundred million in the bank after the giveaway.”

“As you wish, Sir. It will take some time to make the funds liquid enough for the transfers, as well as time to arrange the donations.”

“That’s fine. Let me know when it’s done.”

Tony went back to his pizza. He loved pepperoni with mushrooms.

\---

The reports started rolling in a few weeks later. One night Tony turned on the news out of curiosity.

“The mystery millions continue to pour into charities all across the country,” the anchor reported. “There are rumors that the money is coming from a foreign country, trying to buy American influence.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “JARVIS, call Pepper.”

\---

“You did _what_?” Pepper sounded shocked.

“You heard me. I wanted to keep it anonymous, but people think the money is shady. I need to release a statement.”

“Of course, Tony. I’ll have Marian from PR call you immediately.” Pepper paused. “Why did you do it?”

Tony grinned. “You’ll have to read the press release.”

\---

_My fellow Americans,_

_Many of you have been wondering where the charitable donations known as the “Mystery Millions” have been coming from. The answer is that I decided to give away most of my wealth. It’s unfair of me to hoard billions of dollars when people are homeless, hungry, and in need of medical care._

_I am still a wealthy man, but I am no longer a billionaire. And I’m happy about it. I will continue to donate funds to charity as I receive stockholder payouts and other incomes._

_Peace out._

_Tony Stark_

\---

“People want you to run for president,” Rhodey said over the phone.

“Nah. I’ve got better things to do.” Tony picked up the TV remote. The new season of Umbrella Academy had just dropped.

“I’m proud of you, Tones. You’re really making a difference.”

Tony felt warm. Praise from Rhodey always made him feel good. “Thanks, Honey Bear.”

Rhodey hung up, and Tony hit Play on the remote. Klaus was hot.

\---

“You’re an interesting man, Anthony Stark.”

Tony threw his wrench at the deity standing in the middle of his workshop.

Loki caught it and grinned like a shark. “Did I startle you?”

“You’re supposed to be dead, Dasher.” Tony knew JARVIS would be prepping a suit, since Enemy Numero Uno was too close for comfort.

“And yet, here I am.” Loki bowed mockingly. “I heard about your financial stunt, and I thought I would pay you a visit. Are you dying?”

Tony snorted. “Fuck no. Just trying to be less of an asshole.”

“Hm.” Loki scrutinized him, and Tony remembered he had oil on his shirt and a burn mark on his jeans. Not that he cared what Loki thought. “Have dinner with me.”

“Wait, what?”

“Dinner. You know, the meal mortals typically eat in the evening. Since it is now seven o’clock, I’m assuming you must be hungry.” Loki raised his eyebrows expectantly.

“Why?” Not that Loki wasn’t hot -- Loki was _very_ hot -- but why the hell would he want to have dinner?

“Because I am bored, Stark.” Loki rolled his eyes. “I am exiled to this backwards little realm, and reports about you reminded me that you were the only thing interesting about my last visit here.”

Tony narrowed his eyes. “Are you going to throw me out another window?”

“Probably not.” Loki gave another disconcerting smile. “I actually have no desire to do violence. I’d be happy to explain it to you, but only if you feed me. I want sashimi.”

“Sure, why not?” Tony didn’t have anything better to do tonight, and his curiosity usually got him in trouble. Surely dinner with a supervillain wasn’t the weirdest thing he’d ever done. “You remember where the penthouse is. I’ll take a shower and meet you there. JARVIS, order food.”

“Are you certain, Sir?”

“Yep. Just keep a suit handy in case I get defenestrated.”

Loki snorted. Tony considered it a win. “See you in a bit, Rock of Ages.”

“Anthony.” The god gave him a lascivious look, then vanished.

Tony took the elevator. He idly wondered if he’d get lucky tonight. Yeah, Loki was a bad guy. But seriously, that ass. And those hands.

Life was good, and it might be getting even better.

**Author's Note:**

> The only thing that's ever bugged me about Tony Stark is the fact that he's so rich he could never spend all that money. I wanted to make him do something positive with it. This was the result. I was aiming for cute, not political, so hopefully I reached my goal...


End file.
